Exercise turned to Surrender

        "Hallelujah, grace like rain fall down on me. Hallelujah all my stains are washed away. By grace my fears released." These are the lyrics that grabbed my heart while exercising and made me feel the urge to write another blog post. 
        Today I have felt great, well, until about an hour and a half ago my thoughts began to crash yet again. It's crazy how one moment you can be praising God and the next be fearing things I shouldn't. But for me this is pretty much a daily occurrence, the day before yesterday it was a call from my mom telling me that she had MRSA again and I had been around her recently so I was thrown into panic mode of what if I develop this? What if I'm carrying it? Then yesterday, I wasn't feeling good and I had a huge blemish develop on my cheek and of course I think staph infection, mrsa, etc. So I had to talk myself out of that and now today I read on my news feed of a young friend that was rushed to the hospital because she fainted at work. My immediate thought is 'Oh my goodness, what if this happens to me?' ....Now what kind of friend am I? A darn selfish one. Only thinking of myself. Then I have the nerve to write 'I will be praying for her' on the status. I did pray for her for a moment and then I started my fidgety hands and worrying that I will faint while home alone or just out and about. I haven't learned to take those fear stricken thoughts captive. But here I am an hour and a half later learning and sharing my story with you. I know what I need to do, but why is it so hard to control what I worry over? Mine is a bad habit. An addiction. I have always worried about every little thing. Whether I'm throwing a party, going on a trip or catching a cold I am big ole worry wart because I ask "What if..." to literally everything. During my worry period tonight I kept throwing positive answers back to my what ifs and wouldn't allow myself to ask another. But this was very hard to do. Satan keeps throwing it at me. And I have to control my thoughts. Take those fearful thoughts captive and tell Satan that he has no power over me and I can control my thoughts because God gives me the power to.  
         The song just came on my Pandora station "Lead Me to the Cross" and the lyrics sing, "You were as I, tempted and tried. Human....Oh Jesus, bring me to my knees, I lay me down, Rid me of myself, I belong to You. Lead me to the cross." I'm praying this prayer that God will bring me to my knees and help me learn to trust in Him so much that I know His plan is perfect for me. I just have to say, I am willing to follow Him. Which I am, but I don't ever give everything over to God. I know He is faithful, good and loving yet I have such a tough time trusting Him. I want to be in control, I think that I could do better, but then I try and I mess things up and always end up an emotional wreck cause I know that I need to trust Him. To give Him every little detail of my life. Tonight I am surrendering all. Again. I know it's a daily giving over to Christ. I want to be a woman of God. I am so thankful that Christ doesn't get mad at me and just stop loving me because of how often I fall back into the same sin. I know He sees my heart and that gives me comfort. He knows I try and He knows that I want more than anything to be His daughter. I am so very thankful for our Father in Heaven. His love is never ending. 
         Grace like rain fall down on me. Lord, forgive me for not trusting You with my life. Thank you Lord for continually washing my sins away when I come to You. I am asking for healing over my friend through whatever is going on, you are the ultimate Healer and You know what is going on in her body. Lord, I ask you to heal her and comfort her. I also ask you to heal my mom. Fight the infection and work wonders to heal her body, Oh Lord. Bring her peace and comfort through any fears she might be having. Let her feel Your holy  presence. In Jesus' name, I come asking these things, I love You Abba Father and thank you for Your constant love and protection. You are so good to me.

"I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

If my God is with me

Whom than shall I fear?

Whom than shall I fear?"

You Never Let Go

Matt Redman

Peace be with you.

An Anxious Heart in Restoration

Today I have been battling with an anxious heart and mind. I have struggled with this for years now and I am feeling victorious over the past couple weeks! I may still be faced with these issues but I am overcoming them more and more! It's so exciting to see progress in an area of life that seems to never move. Have you felt like I do? Anxious? Uptight? Feeling on edge? Fearing the worst? Well, we are not alone. The Bible talks a lot about anxious hearts and fears. But we are to overcome them. They have no power over us because we have a great God who gives us power to do all things. 

2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV
        For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Fear is not from the Lord. Our God brings us peace. 

Philippians 4:8 NIV
        Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

We must re-train our thoughts. Think positive. Only allow your mind to explore whatever you know to be true, on what is pure and lovely. 
I know I struggle the most with my self talk. I know it is a problem for a lot of women. We compare ourselves to every other girl we see, rating ourselves against them. We try and cope with how we feel without actually working through a situation. We also are very quick to complain about the small things, big things and everything in between. Now this can be men too, but from talking to a lot of women and reading a lot of books, these are typically women things that we allow to consume our thoughts. 
I came across a blog called A Girl Like Me and Kelly shared how she has a goal of writing out a list of 1000 things she is thankful for. This struck me and I immediately decided to do the same. I've found that it does help me look for the positives in each day. The best thing I've found to do is to keep my list in front of me. On the counter or fridge so I can see my list and add to it throughout the week as things happen or simply just things that warm my heart. I'm on #126 and I love glancing through my list of blessings and things that make life so wonderful! When I have my 1000x Thankful list complete I'm planning on making a collage of my papers to hang in my bedroom so I can keep them in front of me so I remember to think only on what is good. 
 Now back to tonight and right now :) (I go down bunny trails so easily) I wanted to read and study something that would help me in my anxious state of mind. I had no idea where to read in my Bible so I decided to pray and ask God to share with me what He would like to have me read tonight. I hadn't done this in a while but I seriously had no idea where to begin. So I closed my eyes, continued to pray, and opened my Bible to these verses:

John 12:20-33 NLT
        "Some Greeks who had come to Jerusalem to attend the Passover paid a visit to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee. They said, "Sir, we want to meet Jesus." Philip told Andrew about it, and they went together to ask Jesus. 
        Jesus replied, "The time has come for the Son of Man to enter into his glory. The truth is, a kernel of wheat must be planted in the soil. Unless it dies, it will be alone-a single seed. But its death will produce many new kernels-a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who despise their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. All those who want to be my disciples must come and follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And if they follow me, the Father will honor them, Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, 'Father, save me from what lies ahead'? But that is the very reason I came! Father, bring glory to your name!"
        Then a voice spoke from heaven, saying, "I have already brought it glory, and I will do it again." When the crown heard the voice, some thought it was thunder, while others declared an angel had spoken to him.
        Then Jesus told them, "The voice was for your benefit, not mine. The time of judgement for the world has come, when the prince of this world will be cast out. And when I am lifted up on the cross, I will draw everyone to myself." He said this to indicate how he was going to die.

Here is what I heard in these verses:

• I am to live my life for the glory of God.
• Satan has been cast out. He has no power over me. I have the power over him through Christ.
• I cannot be selfish. I must die to myself and my worldly desires so that others will see my life is different because of my relationship with Christ. Then others will be drawn to have a relationship with Christ because of my obedience to God.
• Satan has been defeated. 
• Jesus Christ is LORD of ALL THINGS.

I have chosen to write and share this with you because I feel that we need to encourage and lift each other up in Christ. May God have favor on you and continually bless you.

Hearts For My Car

Lavender Heart Car Freshener

Organic Lavender Buds (Origin: France)

Cut out your favorite fabric, sew them together leaving a hole to fill your heart, then fill it with fresh lavender buds (I got mine here), and sew it up! Then either hot glue, tie or sew on your hemp cord or whatever you will use to hang it from your mirror and you've got your very own air freshener that isn't bad for you to smell!

<3