"Hallelujah, grace like rain fall down on me. Hallelujah all my stains are washed away. By grace my fears released." These are the lyrics that grabbed my heart while exercising and made me feel the urge to write another blog post.
Today I have felt great, well, until about an hour and a half ago my thoughts began to crash yet again. It's crazy how one moment you can be praising God and the next be fearing things I shouldn't. But for me this is pretty much a daily occurrence, the day before yesterday it was a call from my mom telling me that she had MRSA again and I had been around her recently so I was thrown into panic mode of what if I develop this? What if I'm carrying it? Then yesterday, I wasn't feeling good and I had a huge blemish develop on my cheek and of course I think staph infection, mrsa, etc. So I had to talk myself out of that and now today I read on my news feed of a young friend that was rushed to the hospital because she fainted at work. My immediate thought is 'Oh my goodness, what if this happens to me?' ....Now what kind of friend am I? A darn selfish one. Only thinking of myself. Then I have the nerve to write 'I will be praying for her' on the status. I did pray for her for a moment and then I started my fidgety hands and worrying that I will faint while home alone or just out and about. I haven't learned to take those fear stricken thoughts captive. But here I am an hour and a half later learning and sharing my story with you. I know what I need to do, but why is it so hard to control what I worry over? Mine is a bad habit. An addiction. I have always worried about every little thing. Whether I'm throwing a party, going on a trip or catching a cold I am big ole worry wart because I ask "What if..." to literally everything. During my worry period tonight I kept throwing positive answers back to my what ifs and wouldn't allow myself to ask another. But this was very hard to do. Satan keeps throwing it at me. And I have to control my thoughts. Take those fearful thoughts captive and tell Satan that he has no power over me and I can control my thoughts because God gives me the power to.
The song just came on my Pandora station "Lead Me to the Cross" and the lyrics sing, "You were as I, tempted and tried. Human....Oh Jesus, bring me to my knees, I lay me down, Rid me of myself, I belong to You. Lead me to the cross." I'm praying this prayer that God will bring me to my knees and help me learn to trust in Him so much that I know His plan is perfect for me. I just have to say, I am willing to follow Him. Which I am, but I don't ever give everything over to God. I know He is faithful, good and loving yet I have such a tough time trusting Him. I want to be in control, I think that I could do better, but then I try and I mess things up and always end up an emotional wreck cause I know that I need to trust Him. To give Him every little detail of my life. Tonight I am surrendering all. Again. I know it's a daily giving over to Christ. I want to be a woman of God. I am so thankful that Christ doesn't get mad at me and just stop loving me because of how often I fall back into the same sin. I know He sees my heart and that gives me comfort. He knows I try and He knows that I want more than anything to be His daughter. I am so very thankful for our Father in Heaven. His love is never ending.
Grace like rain fall down on me. Lord, forgive me for not trusting You with my life. Thank you Lord for continually washing my sins away when I come to You. I am asking for healing over my friend through whatever is going on, you are the ultimate Healer and You know what is going on in her body. Lord, I ask you to heal her and comfort her. I also ask you to heal my mom. Fight the infection and work wonders to heal her body, Oh Lord. Bring her peace and comfort through any fears she might be having. Let her feel Your holy presence. In Jesus' name, I come asking these things, I love You Abba Father and thank you for Your constant love and protection. You are so good to me.
Today I have felt great, well, until about an hour and a half ago my thoughts began to crash yet again. It's crazy how one moment you can be praising God and the next be fearing things I shouldn't. But for me this is pretty much a daily occurrence, the day before yesterday it was a call from my mom telling me that she had MRSA again and I had been around her recently so I was thrown into panic mode of what if I develop this? What if I'm carrying it? Then yesterday, I wasn't feeling good and I had a huge blemish develop on my cheek and of course I think staph infection, mrsa, etc. So I had to talk myself out of that and now today I read on my news feed of a young friend that was rushed to the hospital because she fainted at work. My immediate thought is 'Oh my goodness, what if this happens to me?' ....Now what kind of friend am I? A darn selfish one. Only thinking of myself. Then I have the nerve to write 'I will be praying for her' on the status. I did pray for her for a moment and then I started my fidgety hands and worrying that I will faint while home alone or just out and about. I haven't learned to take those fear stricken thoughts captive. But here I am an hour and a half later learning and sharing my story with you. I know what I need to do, but why is it so hard to control what I worry over? Mine is a bad habit. An addiction. I have always worried about every little thing. Whether I'm throwing a party, going on a trip or catching a cold I am big ole worry wart because I ask "What if..." to literally everything. During my worry period tonight I kept throwing positive answers back to my what ifs and wouldn't allow myself to ask another. But this was very hard to do. Satan keeps throwing it at me. And I have to control my thoughts. Take those fearful thoughts captive and tell Satan that he has no power over me and I can control my thoughts because God gives me the power to.
The song just came on my Pandora station "Lead Me to the Cross" and the lyrics sing, "You were as I, tempted and tried. Human....Oh Jesus, bring me to my knees, I lay me down, Rid me of myself, I belong to You. Lead me to the cross." I'm praying this prayer that God will bring me to my knees and help me learn to trust in Him so much that I know His plan is perfect for me. I just have to say, I am willing to follow Him. Which I am, but I don't ever give everything over to God. I know He is faithful, good and loving yet I have such a tough time trusting Him. I want to be in control, I think that I could do better, but then I try and I mess things up and always end up an emotional wreck cause I know that I need to trust Him. To give Him every little detail of my life. Tonight I am surrendering all. Again. I know it's a daily giving over to Christ. I want to be a woman of God. I am so thankful that Christ doesn't get mad at me and just stop loving me because of how often I fall back into the same sin. I know He sees my heart and that gives me comfort. He knows I try and He knows that I want more than anything to be His daughter. I am so very thankful for our Father in Heaven. His love is never ending.
Grace like rain fall down on me. Lord, forgive me for not trusting You with my life. Thank you Lord for continually washing my sins away when I come to You. I am asking for healing over my friend through whatever is going on, you are the ultimate Healer and You know what is going on in her body. Lord, I ask you to heal her and comfort her. I also ask you to heal my mom. Fight the infection and work wonders to heal her body, Oh Lord. Bring her peace and comfort through any fears she might be having. Let her feel Your holy presence. In Jesus' name, I come asking these things, I love You Abba Father and thank you for Your constant love and protection. You are so good to me.
"I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
If my God is with me
Whom than shall I fear?
Whom than shall I fear?"
You Never Let Go
Matt Redman
Peace be with you.
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