Stuck in a Mud Pit

Why can't I be tall and skinny? Why do I have really bad acne? Why can't I have cute, new clothes? Why can't I go get my nails done or my hair done? Why can't I find a job that I am good at or that pays well? Why do I have a hormonal imbalance? Why can't I have a baby? Why can't I have a house with a backyard for my dogs to run? Why am I stuck in this muddy pit and why can't I get myself out of it? 

Today, I found myself in the pit of feeling sorry for myself. My thoughts are drowning in these questions and my heart feels cold and empty. I wish I could be someone else. I want the money to do all these things and to make me look pretty. I want a certain lifestyle that I cannot get without money. I want a baby and I want it like yesterday. I want a perfectly healthy body and a perfectly full wallet. 

Wow. It certainly all boils down to me and money.

1 Timothy 6:10

New Living Translation  (©2007) 
"For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows."

The Holy Spirit just brought this verse to my attention as I am reading what I've written. I can see that wanting money has caused all these sorrows. All this grief. My aching heart is caused by a love for money and what money can provide for ME. 

This is my inner core. This is who I am underneath the makeup, smile and Facebook appearance...and this will be a hard blog to post. *sigh* 
I will post this because I feel that transparency is very important in our culture. Because we hide behind things and don't want anyone to know that we do not have it all together. Yet, we don't. None of us do, whether we look like it or not. 

Saying all of this, let's get to the good stuff God has shown me and would like me to share with you.

With all these questions in my head I found it helped to write them out and see exactly what I was feeling horrible about in black and white. I went back and read through it and used the purple ink to point out the exact things that I wish I could change. I also went back through and made all the I's a larger font. Now I can see very clearly how selfish I am being. How my heart is not a thankful heart. How I've allowed finances to run my emotions and affect my life. How I am so focused on myself that I don't have time to serve others except for on Sunday mornings. 

Now that I have it all straightened out in my head, I feel horrible for allowing myself to become this focused on things that don't really matter and I realize that this is not from my Father in Heaven. I'm sorry to my Father in heaven for allowing money and myself to come in between us. The time has come to repent of these things...

What does repent mean? 


re·pent [ri-pent]
verb (used without object)
1. to feel sorry, self-reproachful, or contrite for past conduct; regret or be conscience-stricken about a past action, attitude, etc. (often followed by of ): He repented after his thoughtless act.
2. to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better; be penitent.
verb (used with object)
3. to remember or regard with self-reproach or contrition: to repent one's injustice to another.
4. to feel sorry for; regret: to repent an imprudent act.
(Thank you Dictionary.com)

I have decided from this moment on to change. I will let go of the control panel and let God direct my life. I'm ashamed of what I let myself think and feel and now I'm asking for God's forgiveness. 

What does it mean to forgive?


for·give    [fer-giv]  for·gave, for·giv·en, for·giv·ing.
verb (used with object)
1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to grant pardon to (a person).
4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.
5. to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.


“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 )

“Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” (Acts 3:19 )


“Come now and let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”  (Isaiah 1:18 )

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17 )



These verses show how when we repent (we are truly sorry, ask forgiveness and turn away from the sin), He forgives us and gives us a clean slate. A fresh start. A new beginning. 


"He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." (Psalm 103:12)

It's taking me a couple days to actually finish this blog post, but I feel good about it all. Here I am two days later and the Holy Spirit is constantly reminding me that I am beautiful. That God made me different than anyone else on the planet. That if there was no negatives than there would be no positives. That He has a plan for my life and He knows what my future holds and I do not. Therefore, I will be obedient and follow what He commands me to do. I will continually lift my eyes to heaven and ask for His guidance. I will pray before moving. I will inquire of the Lord before I do anything. 

This is my goal each and every day:

To live the life God calls me to live.

I exist to glorify God and to serve.

Am I Going the Wrong Way???

        Today I took care of two boys ages four and two. The four year old enjoys playing some racing games so I broke out the N64 and played some Diddy Kong Racing with him. He kept getting turned around and would continually ask me in a worried voice, "Am I going the wrong way???" and I would tell him if he was or not. Other times he would get his car stuck in the water and I would offer to take the controller and get him out of the water and back on the race  track. As I was doing this over and over again, I thought to myself, this must be one way God helps me. My Father in Heaven continually answers my panic questions of "Am I going the right way???" 
        I'm currently studying about David, the man after God's own heart and I'm learning that David asked God first what he should do or where he should go before making any decisions. Today, this little boy reminded me that whenever I'm making a decision I should always ask God first if it's His will and if I haven't, I need to re-focus, take a look at my life and ask Him, "Am I going the wrong way???"
        When we are in times of need or stuck in the "water" and the more and more we try, we keep feeling like we are drowning. God comes in, takes the controller (if we let Him) and guides us out of the drowning waters.
        That's what I wanted to share with you today. I hope you enjoyed reading this short blog post :)

Exercise turned to Surrender

        "Hallelujah, grace like rain fall down on me. Hallelujah all my stains are washed away. By grace my fears released." These are the lyrics that grabbed my heart while exercising and made me feel the urge to write another blog post. 
        Today I have felt great, well, until about an hour and a half ago my thoughts began to crash yet again. It's crazy how one moment you can be praising God and the next be fearing things I shouldn't. But for me this is pretty much a daily occurrence, the day before yesterday it was a call from my mom telling me that she had MRSA again and I had been around her recently so I was thrown into panic mode of what if I develop this? What if I'm carrying it? Then yesterday, I wasn't feeling good and I had a huge blemish develop on my cheek and of course I think staph infection, mrsa, etc. So I had to talk myself out of that and now today I read on my news feed of a young friend that was rushed to the hospital because she fainted at work. My immediate thought is 'Oh my goodness, what if this happens to me?' ....Now what kind of friend am I? A darn selfish one. Only thinking of myself. Then I have the nerve to write 'I will be praying for her' on the status. I did pray for her for a moment and then I started my fidgety hands and worrying that I will faint while home alone or just out and about. I haven't learned to take those fear stricken thoughts captive. But here I am an hour and a half later learning and sharing my story with you. I know what I need to do, but why is it so hard to control what I worry over? Mine is a bad habit. An addiction. I have always worried about every little thing. Whether I'm throwing a party, going on a trip or catching a cold I am big ole worry wart because I ask "What if..." to literally everything. During my worry period tonight I kept throwing positive answers back to my what ifs and wouldn't allow myself to ask another. But this was very hard to do. Satan keeps throwing it at me. And I have to control my thoughts. Take those fearful thoughts captive and tell Satan that he has no power over me and I can control my thoughts because God gives me the power to.  
         The song just came on my Pandora station "Lead Me to the Cross" and the lyrics sing, "You were as I, tempted and tried. Human....Oh Jesus, bring me to my knees, I lay me down, Rid me of myself, I belong to You. Lead me to the cross." I'm praying this prayer that God will bring me to my knees and help me learn to trust in Him so much that I know His plan is perfect for me. I just have to say, I am willing to follow Him. Which I am, but I don't ever give everything over to God. I know He is faithful, good and loving yet I have such a tough time trusting Him. I want to be in control, I think that I could do better, but then I try and I mess things up and always end up an emotional wreck cause I know that I need to trust Him. To give Him every little detail of my life. Tonight I am surrendering all. Again. I know it's a daily giving over to Christ. I want to be a woman of God. I am so thankful that Christ doesn't get mad at me and just stop loving me because of how often I fall back into the same sin. I know He sees my heart and that gives me comfort. He knows I try and He knows that I want more than anything to be His daughter. I am so very thankful for our Father in Heaven. His love is never ending. 
         Grace like rain fall down on me. Lord, forgive me for not trusting You with my life. Thank you Lord for continually washing my sins away when I come to You. I am asking for healing over my friend through whatever is going on, you are the ultimate Healer and You know what is going on in her body. Lord, I ask you to heal her and comfort her. I also ask you to heal my mom. Fight the infection and work wonders to heal her body, Oh Lord. Bring her peace and comfort through any fears she might be having. Let her feel Your holy  presence. In Jesus' name, I come asking these things, I love You Abba Father and thank you for Your constant love and protection. You are so good to me.

"I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

If my God is with me

Whom than shall I fear?

Whom than shall I fear?"

You Never Let Go

Matt Redman

Peace be with you.

An Anxious Heart in Restoration

Today I have been battling with an anxious heart and mind. I have struggled with this for years now and I am feeling victorious over the past couple weeks! I may still be faced with these issues but I am overcoming them more and more! It's so exciting to see progress in an area of life that seems to never move. Have you felt like I do? Anxious? Uptight? Feeling on edge? Fearing the worst? Well, we are not alone. The Bible talks a lot about anxious hearts and fears. But we are to overcome them. They have no power over us because we have a great God who gives us power to do all things. 

2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV
        For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Fear is not from the Lord. Our God brings us peace. 

Philippians 4:8 NIV
        Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

We must re-train our thoughts. Think positive. Only allow your mind to explore whatever you know to be true, on what is pure and lovely. 
I know I struggle the most with my self talk. I know it is a problem for a lot of women. We compare ourselves to every other girl we see, rating ourselves against them. We try and cope with how we feel without actually working through a situation. We also are very quick to complain about the small things, big things and everything in between. Now this can be men too, but from talking to a lot of women and reading a lot of books, these are typically women things that we allow to consume our thoughts. 
I came across a blog called A Girl Like Me and Kelly shared how she has a goal of writing out a list of 1000 things she is thankful for. This struck me and I immediately decided to do the same. I've found that it does help me look for the positives in each day. The best thing I've found to do is to keep my list in front of me. On the counter or fridge so I can see my list and add to it throughout the week as things happen or simply just things that warm my heart. I'm on #126 and I love glancing through my list of blessings and things that make life so wonderful! When I have my 1000x Thankful list complete I'm planning on making a collage of my papers to hang in my bedroom so I can keep them in front of me so I remember to think only on what is good. 
 Now back to tonight and right now :) (I go down bunny trails so easily) I wanted to read and study something that would help me in my anxious state of mind. I had no idea where to read in my Bible so I decided to pray and ask God to share with me what He would like to have me read tonight. I hadn't done this in a while but I seriously had no idea where to begin. So I closed my eyes, continued to pray, and opened my Bible to these verses:

John 12:20-33 NLT
        "Some Greeks who had come to Jerusalem to attend the Passover paid a visit to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee. They said, "Sir, we want to meet Jesus." Philip told Andrew about it, and they went together to ask Jesus. 
        Jesus replied, "The time has come for the Son of Man to enter into his glory. The truth is, a kernel of wheat must be planted in the soil. Unless it dies, it will be alone-a single seed. But its death will produce many new kernels-a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who despise their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. All those who want to be my disciples must come and follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And if they follow me, the Father will honor them, Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, 'Father, save me from what lies ahead'? But that is the very reason I came! Father, bring glory to your name!"
        Then a voice spoke from heaven, saying, "I have already brought it glory, and I will do it again." When the crown heard the voice, some thought it was thunder, while others declared an angel had spoken to him.
        Then Jesus told them, "The voice was for your benefit, not mine. The time of judgement for the world has come, when the prince of this world will be cast out. And when I am lifted up on the cross, I will draw everyone to myself." He said this to indicate how he was going to die.

Here is what I heard in these verses:

• I am to live my life for the glory of God.
• Satan has been cast out. He has no power over me. I have the power over him through Christ.
• I cannot be selfish. I must die to myself and my worldly desires so that others will see my life is different because of my relationship with Christ. Then others will be drawn to have a relationship with Christ because of my obedience to God.
• Satan has been defeated. 
• Jesus Christ is LORD of ALL THINGS.

I have chosen to write and share this with you because I feel that we need to encourage and lift each other up in Christ. May God have favor on you and continually bless you.

Hearts For My Car

Lavender Heart Car Freshener

Organic Lavender Buds (Origin: France)

Cut out your favorite fabric, sew them together leaving a hole to fill your heart, then fill it with fresh lavender buds (I got mine here), and sew it up! Then either hot glue, tie or sew on your hemp cord or whatever you will use to hang it from your mirror and you've got your very own air freshener that isn't bad for you to smell!

<3

Crafty Cards & Betty Crocker

I love to make homemade Christmas cards. They are so cute & something special to send to family & friends! Plus, it actually ends up being extremely budget friendly :) 

Tonight, I also tried another cookie recipe out of my Betty Crocker Cookbook. Chocolate Crinkle Cookies. They turned out so yummy! :)

Get the recipe!

I'm a Mouse!

Every Halloween we dress up at work and have a costume contest! Today was our Halloween  dress up day! Last year I was Wonder Woman...

But needing something a little more budget friendly this year I decided to make my own!
I ended up spending about $14 on this years costume but can wear the clothes all the time! This year I am a Mouse!

Leggings-Target $5
Shirt-JCPenney $7
Tail-JoAnns $2 (made out of yarn!)
Ears-Free (made out of cardboard, paint & bobby pins!)
Whiskers/Nose-Free (Used eyeliner!)
Ballet Shoes-Free (Old dance shoes!)


Happy Halloween Weekend!!


btw...do you like my hair!? I colored it this week. Ombre color! :)

Snickerdoodles & Cold Medicine

Still coughing my head off I decided to bake some Snickerdoodle Cookies by the famous Betty Crocker recipe! (This is one of my favorite holiday cookies to bake) 

I didn't cough into the cookies I promise! :) 

Hope everyone reading is having a great night! 

Much Love!

Make Your Own Spa Scrub!

When I think of relaxation I think of spas. Maybe because I've worked at a day spa for 2 1/2 years or maybe it's because I've always loved the scent of lavender. Whatever it is I just love using scrubs, getting my nails done & facials! A lot of us are on a tight budget these days which makes us try to do as much of our "spa-ing" at home with cheap products. I want to share two scrubs that are easy to make, gentle on your wallet & leaves your skin soft without using harsh chemicals! 

Sugar Love Scrub

1/4 C Sugar

1 T Olive Oil

Several drops of your favorite essential oil 

(Your grocery store usually has essential oils in their organic body/health aisle)

Salt Love Scrub

1/4 C Salt (I prefer Sea Salt)

1 T Olive Oil

Several drops of your favorite essential oil

I can't get enough lavender or eucalyptus. These are my two favorite oils. Lavender is calming and great for relaxing especially before you go to sleep or you feel stressed. Eucalyptus is a great morning scrub to awaken, energize & clear your head!

***Be careful when using this scrub in the shower. The oil causes your tub to become slippery! I prefer to use the scrub while taking a bath or just being really careful when using it in the shower.***

Holiday Love Scrub: Make the scrub using Peppermint Oil. Put the scrub in a little snowman dish with a small spoon by your sink in your guest bathroom. Your guests will get to use a holiday scrub while at your house! (If you have little one's make sure it's out of reach!) Take it an extra step: Use a log and hollow it out like a bowl then tie holiday ribbon around the bowl. Cut out a spoon shape from a log. Now you have a completely unique set up for your guests!

Best Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Tonight, I made cookies! There is nothing better (Okay, there is but this is great too!) than when my husband gets home from work and we can watch something on Netflix while enjoying something sweet from the kitchen. This is simply the best recipe I've ever used for chocolate chip cookies that stay fluffed up when baking and are perfectly moist with that ooey gooey chocolate. 


I didn't get this recipe from anywhere. I just basically knew a recipe and increased the sugar, decreased the brown sugar, omitted the eggs and presto! Now it's my own recipe!

Chocolate Chip Cookie LOVE Recipe
From the Kitchen of: Laura Lynn


1/2 C (1 stick) Butter (real butter, not margarine)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
4 T brown sugar
8 T sugar
1 C flour
1/2-3/4 C milk chocolate chips


Soften the butter in the microwave using a glass bowl for about 30 seconds. The butter should be soft but not completely melted. Stir in baking soda, salt and vanilla. Stir in the sugar & brown sugar. Stir in the flour and chocolate chips. The mixture should not be runny it should be pretty stiff (almost dry looking). Next you will want to make sure your hands are clean and using your hands form the dough into a ball. Then you can start taking the dough by teaspoon or tablespoon and forming the dough into balls and place on lightly floured baking sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes in 375 degree oven. Let cool for 5 minutes before removing from baking sheet and placing on cooling rack. 


Hope you love these cookies as much as I do!


Much Love, 
Laura Lynn

Crocheting 101

Today I sat outside with Gram (The Hubs Grandma) and she was knitting so I grabbed my plastic storage bin out of the basement and rummaged through the yarn I have. I found a pretty tan/brown color and also a light cream/white color. I decided (since I like things done quick) to use a jumbo crochet hook and double the yarn to have a nice caramel frappuccino look. Which, in my opinion, is a great blend :)
If you already know how to crochet this is super easy and if you are wanting to learn how to crochet this is the perfect beginner project.


You can see how to do a double crochet stitch here

You can learn how to make a round pot holder here

I think crocheting & knitting is perfect for fall & winter months. It's something fun to do and since we bake & cook a lot more hot meals during the colder months, you can never have too many pot holders! 
(I have also made several blankets which I absolutely LOVE to curl up on the couch with when it's chilly!)


Much Love,
Laura


p.s. I hope you make some pot holders...I'd love to see them! :)

Pinterest: Addiction

Yes. I am officially addicted to Pinterest. If you have one you need to check out mine! Tomorrow morning I'm hoping to talk my hubby into going to a couple garage sales to find some new things on a small budget! 


If you don't have a Pinterest, I'm telling you...You need one! It is the most inspiring website I've ever seen! I'll send you an invite if you want but I will need an email to send the invite to.


Much Love!

Cinnamon Sugar Oatmeal Cookies

Cinnamon Sugar Oatmeal Cookies
A little recipe of mine :)

Oven Temp: 375 F  Bake Time: 8-10 minutes

Ingredients:
1 1/2 C Flour
1 1/2 C Rolled Oats
1/2 C Butter, softened (1 stick)
1 C Firmly Packed Brown Sugar
1 Egg
1 t Vanilla
1/4 C Skim Milk
1/2 t Sea Salt
1/4 t Baking Soda
1/2 t Cinnamon
Sugar and Cinnamon to roll cookies in before baking.

In small bowl, stir Flour, Sea Salt, Baking Soda and Cinnamon together.
In large bowl, beat together Butter and Brown Sugar until light and fluffy. Then mix in Egg and Vanilla. Add milk. Mix in Flour mixture from small bowl. Then stir the Oats into the mixture. Now if you would like you can add nuts or raisins or anything you like to the mixture or you can leave it plain. (I personally like mine without the extras!)
Next roll 2 t of dough into sugar and cinnamon mixture and drop onto ungreased cookie sheet!
Bake 8 to 10 minutes in oven at 375F
Wait 1 minute before taking off cookie sheet place on cookie rack to cool.
Enjoy!

The Land of If Only

"I am always content with that which happens,

for I think that which God chooses is better than what I choose"

-Ephictetus

Tonight, I went back to a book I was given a couple years ago by a dear friend. Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I encourage all women to read it. It is "a woman's guide to finding contentment". I will be sharing several things I learned from it tonight.

"If we are to find contentment in the midst of trial and uncertainty, we must accept our situation as being purposely allowed into our lives by a personal and loving God. For most of us, this begins by refusing to contract the If Only disease."

-Linda Dillow

We don't see the whole picture like God does.

"Did I not tell you that If you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

John 11:40 (emphasis mine)

Just like the story of Lazarus...Martha wanted Lazarus to be saved from death; Jesus wanted Lazarus to be triumphant over death.

"If Only" usually starts from a real problem and instead of focusing on God and being thankful for what we have, we focus only on the problem. This leads you down the road to The Land of If Only.

Our faith is very important to God. He wants us to trust Him no matter what our circumstances may be. We need to be willing to accept whatever God has for us.

I challenge you to write down what God has done for you in the past and keep it handy. Next time you feel like exiting into The Land of If Only; grab it, read it, thank God for those things and trust God with every situation because you know that He has a plan for your life that is completely unique and purposely planned.

Father God, forgive me for complaining and wishing for things that I do not need. I no longer want to dwell on the If Onlys, I want to focus on You. Make me wise and content with what I know and not anxious about what I don't know.

In Jesus' Name, I ask these things.

Re-Energizing My Words

It's Sunday and it is my weekly re-energize. Time for extreme prayer, stillness and worship. Our church in Nashville was on a series called "Words with Friends" a couple years ago and I wrote down these notes I found and it has had me thinking about the words I speak. Not only that I speak to others but also to myself. There is power in positive words. I wanted to share a few points so that we can ponder them.

WORDS AFFECT MY FRIENDSHIPS

WORDS AFFECT MY FEELINGS

WORDS AFFECT MY FAMILY

WORDS AFFECT MY HEALTH

WORDS AFFECT MY WEALTH

WORDS AFFECT MY FAITH

WORDS AFFECT MY FUTURE

Isn't it crazy how our words affect everything in our lives? Focusing on the positive is what God tells us to do in Philippians 4:8.

"8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

I want to speak truth. I want to speak things into existence. For what we say we will believe. So many times, the devil gets me to feel like a failure and I talk down myself. Thinking I am a "loser". But that is not what God says about us. We are His children and He loves us. Why would Jesus come to earth and die on a cross for us if He didn't love us? Just to do it? I think not. We are called to love others and love ourselves. The phrase "All you need is love" has a lot of truth in it. Love is what we are called to do and love comes in all sorts of ways. Serving others is showing love. Praying for others is showing love. Teaching others is showing love and the list goes on and on. He gives us so many ways to share His love with the world.

I challenge you to put these thoughts into practice. Every day you have so many opportunities to NOT allow your mouth to speak with sarcasm or with anger and to be honest and speak with a controlled tongue.

"Just say a simple, 'Yes, I will,' or 'No, I won't.' Anything beyond this is from the evil one."

Matthew 5:7

Go out and serve. Allow yourself to be blessed by our Father.

"May the Lord bless you and keep you: May the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you: May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace."

Numbers 6:24

What Are You Waiting For?

Walk On The Water

Crosby, Josh; Muckala, Dan; Waddell, Brittany Nicole;

You look around, and staring back at you

Another wave of doubt, will it pull you under? You wonder

What if I'm overtaken? What if I never make it?

What if no one's there? Will You hear my prayer?

When you take that first step into the unknown

You know that He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?

Your insecurities, they try to hold to you

But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move

Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

So get out, and let your fear fall to the ground

No time to waste, don't wait, and don't you turn around and miss out

Everything you were made for, I know you're not sure

So you play it safe, you try to run away

If you take that first step into the unknown

He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?

Your insecurities, they try to hold to you

But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move

Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water too

Step out, even when it's storming

Step out, even when you're broken

Step out, even when your heart is telling you

Telling you to give up

Step out, when your hope is stolen

Step out, when you can't see where you're going

You don't have to be afraid

So what are you waiting, what are you waiting for?

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?

Your insecurities try to hold to you

You know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move

Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water

Walk on the water, too

Singing this, reading this makes me want to live past my fears. To say no to the world and follow God. Saying this and doing this are two completely different things. I know I want to live a God-centered life and except His love for me every day, but I find it difficult to live a God-centered life when I live in fear. This journey to be free from myself is so hard. I have found that I am a very selfish person. I focus on myself, my problems, my fears, my looks, my feeling and my thoughts. I always like to share my story and my opinion. Why am I so interested in my life? Because I fear the unknown so I want to tell others and myself what I do know, so it makes me feel more comfortable. Maybe comfort isn't what I need right now...maybe I need to be uncomfortable to draw me close to God and to find comfort in Him alone. I run to so many other things to get away from my fears and get my mind off my worries. Is this sweeping them under the rug? Why yes, take a look at this incredibly huge hill that this rug is trying to hide? I can't control my emotions and fears myself, I need the help from God. I ask for it but I don't see that I receive it or maybe I take it but then drop it on the way out. Life gets in the way and causes life to be a challenge. What an adventure this is!

I don't know what else to do but keep praying and spending time with God. Also, to face my fears and trust God with them. Way easier said than done, but I will be free from myself. Christ died for this and I have no reason to live in fear. I've found it's habit and that it's a good excuse if I don't feel like doing something. If I panic I won't do it and I'll feel sick so I won't have to do something. This, my friends, is laziness. If you are reading this, I do ask for your prayers that I will not be lazy and that God will give me the strength I need to face my fears and let God help me conquer them. Through God ALL things are possible and I believe this wholeheartedly. Now that I've written this, I feel like going and facing my fears right now! I wish I could find a way to stay this close to God at all times throughout the day. I have read to memorize scripture verses so I can say them throughout the day and that will help keep my focus on God. I will be trying to do this over the next several days and see how it goes! :) I am so excited to see how it'll work and how close I will get to our Father through all of this craziness!

What am I waiting for?

It's time to live fearlessly!

Matthew 19:26

"But Jesus looked at them and said,

'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'"

Isaiah 41:10

"So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

John 14:1

"Do not let your hearts be troubled.

Trust in God; trust also in me"

Jeremiah 29:11,12

"'For I know the plans I have for you,'

declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me,

and I will listen to you.'"

What Paul is Teaching Me

Philippians 1:12-14 "Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else, and that most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear."

This verse is talking about Paul's imprisonment for Christ's sake, it furthered the kingdom. It opened up a freedom for those who were Christians to speak up. He had already gone to prison for this reason and was showing how God can use hard times for the glory of His Kingdom.
I also thought when meditating on this verse that imprisonment can be imprisonment to anxiety or fear, to money or work, to pornography or relationships. God can use all things to glorify Him. We turn away from these things for Christ and allow Him to lead our lives and that is a victory in His name because we cannot be free from these things without Him.

"For me to, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith," Philippians 1:21-25

Oh how Paul must have longed to be with Christ in Heaven, in perfection. He says to die is gain and it most certainly is! To be with our Father in Heaven is what we all desire. There will be no more pain, no more fear, no more tears. We will rejoice and praise our God forever! But Paul said He would rather help those around Him so that they can become true followers of God together. This to me is mature thinking. He was thinking of others and not of himself. He was convinced of this and knew that he would remain on earth to help those around Him so that they would also have the opportunity to be with God. We are to "not only believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake" (Phil. 1:29)

In Philippians 2, I can't help but think, Would I be able to risk death for the work of Christ? At this point in my life I have not been challenged with these things of people and having to stand up against someone who is blaspheming my God. Only on TV have I seen such things and with that I can just turn it off. I think back to the time of Cassie Barnell in 1999. She was asked at gunpoint to deny Christ and she wouldn't. Michael W Smith has a song called "This is Your Time" that was inspired by this horrible crime.

The lyrics begin like this:

It was a test we could all hope to pass
But none of us would want to take
Faced with choice to deny God and live
For her there was one choice to make

What if tomorrow
What if today
Faced with the Question
Oh, What would you say?

This is a tough thing to do and I pray that I would have the strength to stand up for Christ if I was faced with that same question.

What would you say?

Meetings in the Secret Place

Matthew 6:6
"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you"

Our Father tells us to go into your room, your closet, your inner room to pray to Him. Finding a place with no distractions is hard, especially these days. I also get distracted very easily. I've been trying to find a place that has no distractions. Having two dogs that want to whine, bark and play when you want quiet time with God doesn't help this. Also, if you live in an apartment, you know how you can hear everyone that lives above you? that walks down the breezeway? In all of this I'm going to find the perfect place to meet with God. I think this is very important because we as humans and in modern times are so distracted with our phones, social networking and our happiness in materialistic things. I am definitely not against any of these things (obviously) but I do find it very important to put God first in your life. First one you talk to in the morning and the last you talk to at night. The Beginning and the End. The Start and the Finish of your day. I find this hard because I tend to put my husband in first or myself. Then my job and then my dogs and then if I have time I'll worship God in secret. This happens because I have a faulty focus. I need to look through God's lens and not mine. To have a clear lens I need to learn how to focus on the things He tells me to in Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

I encourage you today to go and find your secret place to meet with God! Whether it be in a closet, in your room or somewhere else. Wherever you choose to meet with God be sure there are no distractions and where you can openly praise and worship Our God!

Secret Place
Rachael Lampa
Brent Bourgeois/Chris Rodriguez

You are my Father, I am Your child.
Will You hold me in Your arms
Just a little while
And let me know how much You care for me?
There’s no other place in this world
I’d rather be.
And when I fall down on my knees and pray,
My heart is captured when I hear You say:

“Come with Me My child to the secret place.
I love you, I love you, I love you, oh.
Come and find your rest in the secret place.
I love you, I love you, I love you

Everywhere I turn, everything I see
Reminds me of the joy that You bring to me;
And I...I need You so don’t let me go.
Touch me with Your healing hand.
Tell me that You understand.
When I falter, when I lose my way,
You shine Your light on me and I hear You say:

“Come with Me My child to the secret place.
I love you, I love you, I love you, oh.
Come and find your rest in a secret place.
I love you, I love you, I love you.”

And when I fall down on my knees and pray,
My heart is captured when I hear You say:
Come with Me, Come with Me
Just a little while...

God's Love For Me is Mind Boggling

This writing will probably seem choppy but this is how my mind is processing...but these are my thoughts; they might be a whirlwind of thoughts, but still they are what keeps me loving God more and more every day.

Today, I finished reading the newest book in a series of books I've been reading since I was eleven years old. (What an amazing ending to this book in this continuing series!) I have learned so much of God's Holy and Perfect Love through these books! I think it's amazing how God can use so many things to speak to us and teach us!

I realized today how much God is pursuing us. This is a great example of God's love for us, that He pursues us! He shows us continually how much He loves us and wants us to love Him the same, He desires that from us. But, He also loves us enough that He gives us free will to decide. What kind of love would it be if it were forced? It wouldn't be true. God loves us not because He has to, but because He wants to! This truly excites me and just knowing this brings my love for God on a deeper level. Knowing how much He truly loves me even though I sin against Him is just mind boggling.

I also feel encouraged today by this verse, "I, the Lord, made you, and I will not forget to help you. I have swept away your sins like the morning mists. I have scattered your offenses like the clouds. Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free." Isaiah 44:21b-22 NLT

So many times in life I feel like God is not helping me. I say things to Him like, "Yeah, You could help me get out of this if You really wanted to!" But really God knows what we can handle and He knows how strong and close we can become to Him through the valleys if we trust Him. He loves us so much that He sees us saddened and He doesn't like it but then He knows how strong we can become and close to Him we will become so He keeps encouraging us to stay on the path that is the straight and narrow.
God also is on a completely different timing scale. "A day to our Father is like a thousand years and a thousand years a day" I might feel as though this is taking "forever" to get through a hard time but really it's just a passing moment in the grand adventure of eternity.
God loves us so much that He paid the highest price for us. Therefore, He deserves all of our worship and all of our praise and all of our lives.

May the Glory be to God Forever and Ever.